Christmas Traditions

Merry Christmas, everyone! I've spent the past three days at my parents' house in McCormick, SC, and I haven't seen a single person under the age of 55 since I left Arlington on Friday. Okay, that might be an exaggeration - there were three little girls at church on Sunday - but whenever I come down here I feel like I've walked onto the set of Cocoon. Before the Army Corps of Engineers sold the land for this neighborhood, McCormick was the poorest county in South Carolina. And South Carolina isn't exactly an up-and-coming state (except for Charleston, the greatest city in the world). Now the shores of Strom Thurmond Lake (I'm seriously not making this up) house retirees from wealthier parts of the country, including my mom and dad.

Since my parents moved down here, we have new Christmas traditions and most of them involve being old. We go to the assisted living home to visit my uncle, which I actually really enjoy, and my dad plays Christmas carols for all the residents. Rudolph and Jingle Bells are big hits there. This visit is one of my favorite parts of the Christmas season, because even the people with severe Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia seem to have a good time.

We also go to a growing number of Christmas parties leading up to Christmas Day, where I stand off to the side with a drink until I'm cornered by someone who asks me the same questions: So I hear you just moved to DC - what are you doing up there? So I hear you just graduated - where are you going to college?  My unemployment is a subject I just adore discussing with perfect strangers, and I know, I know, I'll be grateful for my youthful looks when I get older.

In my journeys through retirement, I've discovered two types of old people: awesome old people and curmudgeons. Just spend an afternoon in a retirement home, at a Denny's around 4:00, or in my parents' neighborhood, and you'll know exactly what I mean. The best is when I'm texting someone or playing Wii sports with some of the more vigorous elders and a curmudgeonly man or woman brings up Newfangled Contraptions. Kids these days, they don't communicate like regular people, they're always plugged in, I don't know how to use these internet telephones... and then they look right at me. Sorry I'm young, old people. Sorry the world is moving too fast for you. Some of you aren't yet sixty. Meanwhile, the awesome old people are off schooling me in tennis and having a much better time.

The awesome old people are much more fun, much less bitter, and much more admirable in my opinion. I definitely want to be like them when I retire.  My parents are definitely in the awesome category most of the time, so the outlook for me is positive.

Merry Christmas from the Kline family!

To Domino

Dear Domino,

I love you more than I love dark chocolate M&Ms, more than I love a good enchilada, more than I love Mariah Carey's Christmas album (her version of O Holy Night is inspiring). But, and I know you saw this but coming, you need to stop headbutting and digging at the bathtub at 2 AM until I have to kick you out and shut the bathroom door. You did this in Charleston, but when you stopped for a few months I thought maybe your dog neuroses had remitted. Alas, I was wrong. Just this week you woke me up at 3:15 with scratching and bumping noises, and when I walked in you had a sweet innocent look on your face like this one:

I ain't been doin nothin, Mama. Nothin.

I have no idea what you're trying to accomplish. Did you bury something in the tub in a past life? Are you thirsty and smart enough to realize that water comes from there? I have to admit, if that were the case I would be pretty impressed. Either way, though, please stop so I can get some rest.

Love,
Mama

The Worst Mexican Restaurant in the World

It's called Mexicali Blues, and it's in Clarendon, VA. But Krystle, you ask, how can you know it's the worst Mexican restaurant in the world? Have you been to every Mexican restaurant in the world? No, of course not. But I have been to Mexican places in at least six states that I can think of off the top of my head and in four different countries (including Mexico), and I literally cannot imagine a restaurant worse than Mexicali Blues. (Non-DC friends, please bear with me. This place was just so bad, I had to rant about it on the internet.)

We went for dinner Monday night - Andrew and I wanted something quick so we could spend the evening figuring out the next step in my job search. The pizza place where we'd planned on eating closed early for their staff holiday party, so we innocently chose the fun-looking pink Mexican place across the street. The staff was friendly, but once the waiter brought out the chips and salsa we knew straight off that this was not getting a regular spot in our restaurant rotation. Our first impression was a basket of out-of-bag chips and salsa that tasted like... nothing. No spice, no cilantro flavor, it didn't even taste like tomatoes. Andrew and I both ordered enchiladas, which are my litmus test for Mexican food. If I can make better enchiladas than yours at home, I'm not coming back. And I use enchilada sauce from a can.

Needless to say, Mexicali Blues didn't pass the enchilada test. Usually I can describe flavors fairly well, but there was just something wrong with their enchilada sauce. I'm honestly not that picky about food, but I just could not eat it. And they served 10-minute white rice. Like, Uncle Ben's. Boil-in-bag, I'm pretty sure. And Kraft powdery parmesan cheese sprinkled on top. We had a lot of WTF moments there. It was surreal.

There has to be crack in their margaritas, because Mexicali Blues is pretty full on Friday and Saturday nights. I didn't try one because it was a Monday night, but I can think of no other reason for people to go there. They must pay their rent entirely on booze sales. The only good thing about our dinner there is that we got out for $20 in 20 minutes.

Do not go to Mexicali Blues. Please. The pink lit-up exterior is seductive, but don't let it suck you in unless you only want to drink. Make the trek out to Ballston for Uncle Julio's or across the street to Pete's for some delicious New Haven style a-pizza. Anywhere but Mexicali Blues.

God I miss Zia Taqueria. If you're lucky enough to live in Charleston, go there and order the pollo verde tacos and a Ziarita. Think of me while you enjoy their drippy, meaty deliciousness, and pray that I find a good Mexican place here soon.

Deck the Studio!

It's the most wonderful time of the year, and our tiny studio got the full decorating treatment. Since we have very little funds at the moment (and I've needed crafts to keep me sane during the thesis/job search period) most of our decorations are homemade. Behold our festive trimmings!

First up, magazine Christmas trees courtesy of Martha Stewart:

So sparkly!

They're actually really easy to make, and you just need old magazines, spray paint, and glitter. Martha made hers with gold paint, but when I made these back in July I wanted a colorful Christmas.

I stole this next project from Bryony Dick, one of my two amazing college roommates. She made this pine cone decoration back in September while she was pregnant with her first baby (it's a boy!), but I kind of cheated on my version. My mom collected and cleaned all the pine cones last year but didn't know what to do with them this Christmas. It took about 5 minutes to spray paint them gold, insert screw eyes into the bottoms, and tie them up with ribbon.

Ignore the unfinished magazine tree in the background...

And the last lovely Christmas craft of the year: ornaments for the tree.

An empty clear plastic ornament filled with costume feathers. That's all it takes. I love lazy, pretty Christmas crafts. Thanks, Young House Love!

And another clear plastic ball, this time with glitter paint icicles. I like glitter - can you tell? 

This was my first year decorating my own place for the season, and it's a great way to get into the Christmas spirit. People judge you for listening to Christmas music in the middle of the summer, but not if you're crafting.

The best of the playlist this year:
1. Bing Crosby and David Bowie - Little Drummer Boy
2. John Denver and the Muppets - The Peace Carol
3. Gayla Peevey - I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas
4. The Impressions - Amen
5. Mariah Carey - All I Want for Christmas is you

Next year's goal: a garland to hang on the bookcase and homemade Christmas cards!

Politics and TV

 

 Liberals love Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, conservatives are all over CBS's programming. Experian Simmons' new study examining politics and TV viewership doesn't really report anything new, but I'd like to see an age breakdown of this study. From what I can see, conservatives are apparently either old or rednecks or both, and liberals are all younger slightly snobby hipsters who like making fun of conservatives. Reading the liberal list is like looking at my imaginary DVR - I definitely fit the stereotype. I wonder what young conservatives or old liberals are watching... Do you think their preferences align more with their age groups or with their political leanings?

On which side of the aisle are your TV preferences?

Rockin Around

Only three weeks to Christmas, and although I've done absolutely no holiday shopping so far Andrew and I did go pick out and decorate our tree yesterday. After a half-hour drive to the empty area between Manassas, Centreville, and Chantilly, we arrived at the Ticonderoga Christmas tree farm. If we'd been after a ceiling-high tree we'd have been out of luck; it seemed like half the DC area had gotten there first and ravaged the field of all but the littlest trees and a few lumpy, lop-sided giants. Fortunately, a little tree is exactly what we wanted, one that only required a single string of lights and no more than the twelve ornaments I stole from my parents or made myself. Armed with a handsaw, bamboo measuring stick, hot cider, and Andrew's Sunkist (nectar of the gods), the two intrepid explorers set out across the field to find the perfect tree.

We ended up finding two perfect trees, a scotch pine and a Virginia fir. Both were the perfect size, both had a lovely compact cone shape, and both lacked gaping holes or bare spots. Talk about first-world problems - which perfect, adorable Christmas tree should we take home? It took us about fifteen minutes and three trips back and forth to look at each tree "one more time," but we decided on the scotch pine. We took turns chopping it down with the handsaw (Andrew did most of the work), and then we loaded it into the back seat of the car.

Holding the tree aloft like Link showing off a new item

After a quick trip to Walmart for a tree stand and a few other odds and ends, we brought the tree home for Domino's inspection.

She approved, so we started the very quick process of lighting and ornamenting a four-foot tree. Love Actually is the perfect background movie for tree-trimming. I could feel Karl in the room with me as we put on the ornaments.

Merry Christmas!

And behold! Our beautiful tiny Christmas tree. Stay tuned for another post on homemade ornaments and decorations!